The Dysfuntional Adventures of the PJO Gang
by Magical Flying Pie
Summary: What happens to Annabeth, Percy, and Grover when they're on a random quest, special occasion, or just plain bored. These are their stories *Gavel Bangs* BANG BANG :
1. Annabeth's Birthday

**Annabeth's Birthday **

On quite a boring day Percy and Grover are lounging around in Percy's living room

"What should we do today?" Percy asked Grover.

"What are you talking about it's Annabeth's birthday"

"No it's not, that's next month"

"No it's today" Grover confirmed. Percy is now looking very panicked.

"What?! But I don't have anything planned!" Percy excalimed. Now Grover's looking really worried.

"What?! But if you don't have anything planned, then I don't have anything planned cuz every year I just stick my name on your present!"

Percy now looking very angry screams, "Excuse me?!"

"I have a busy schedule!" Grover retorts.

"Whatever! We need to buy more time!" Percy says.

**At Annabeth's House**

"Okay, you get Annabeth out of the house and I'll do the rest." Grover directs.

"What are you going to do?" Percy asks looking a little worried.

"You'll find out, now go!" Grover says as he pushes Percy towards the door of Annabeth's house.

Percy enters Annabeth's, very yellow, house and yells, "Annabeth!"

"Yeah?" Annabeth yells from the kitchen, she then comes out while wiping her hands off on a towel.

" I didn't eat my vegetables so now the ladybugs are plotting against me and my celebrity antique toothpick collection and they'll eat me if you don't come out of the house right now!" Percy screams extremely fast in Annabeth's face.

"Wha-!" Annabeth starts to ask Percy but is interuppted by him dragging her out of the house, when they get out of the house they see Grover flying around on a fireworks rocket.

"Dude!", Percy yelled,"You were gonna bomb her house?!"

"Like you had any better ideas!" Grover retorted.

This went on for a while.

"Hey Annabeth!" Percy says.

"What is it this time?" Annabeth asks.

"Will you smell my laptop?"

"What?!"

"Will you sniff the scent of my portable computing device?"

"Why?" Annbeth asks him while looking at him like he's a weirdo.

"Because I'm wondering what my laptop smells like and I'm suffering from allergies." Percy answers while doing the puppy pout.

Annabeth decides to just go with and says, "Fine."

Annabeth then smells the computer.

"It smells like technology." Annabeth informs Percy.

"And do you feel tired, drowsy, or any synonym of sleepy?" Percy asked.

"No."

"Man! Dude you said it work! What plan are we on now?"

"I think it's plan K!" Grover answered.

Grover and Percy said all of this while still in earshot of Annabeth and they were completely aware of this, but they stopped trying to be secretive about planning after plan G backfired.

"I better get going." Annabeth announced.

"Why?" Percy asked.

"I volunteer at the animal shelter every Tuesday remember?" Annabeth answered as Grover walked over.

"We are so stupid." Grover said.

"That's three hours of my life I'll never get back." Percy said as he sighed.

"Bye guys!" Annabeth yelled.

"Bye!" Grover and Percy replied while thinking what they were going to do next.

"Okay, How about we get her present first?" Grover asked Percy.

"How about a cat? She loves animals, that's why she volunteers at the animal shelter."

"Good idea! To Pet Smart!"

**At Pet Smart**

"Excuse me sir?" Percy asked some random guy at Pet Smart.

"Yeah?"

"We need a cat."

The random sighed then said, "Follow me."

Percy and Grover Followed the random dude to the cat section in a little line.

"He's the only one left." the random dude said as he pointed at this weird jumpy looking gray cat that looked half starved.

"He looks a little weird." Percy said to the random dude.

"Yeah but I heard he's real smart, advisor for the Dalai Llama or something." the random dude said.

"Then what is he doing in this dump?!"

"The Pet Smart company psychic said you'd be here and delivered him yesterday."

"Oh, okay then! I'll take him!" Percy exclaimed.

"Whatever."

Then Percy went to the checkout counter with the random guy and bought the cat for $205, pretty expensive cat.

"Can I leave him here and pick him up later?" Percy asked the random dude.

"Yeah."

"Oh, and what's your name?" Percy asked out of curiosity.** (A/N: Ha ha, Curiosity killed the cat. (: )**

"Dan."

"Ah."

Just then Percy finally realized Grover wasn't with him and set off to find him. After about 10 minutes of looking he finally found him growling at the bunnies.

"Dude," Percy said, "just walk away, be the bigger person."

"Fine! Hmph!"

"Next we need to go to Wal-Mart!"

**At Walmart**

"Hello!" Grover said to the Baker person rather perkily.

"Hi...."

"Give me a cake worth $100 plus tax!" Grover screamed and then he slammed a $100 bill on the counter and ran off but then he stopped 5 feet away and slowly turned around and in a very serious voice said, "We'll be back within the hour."

After wreaking havoc across Wal-Mart for a while Percy and Grover finally went back to the bakery to pick up the cake.

"We have arrived for the cake!" Grover announced.

"Here it is." the bakery person said as she took out this huge 5 foot by 3 foot cake.

"Hundred bucks goes a long way!" Percy exclaimed as the bakery person gave him the cake. "Wow this is heavy!"

"Let's go!" Grover cried while pointing his finger forward.

"O-ok, Let's go." Percy said as he was stumbling under the weight of the huge cake.

After About 5 minutes of Walking

"Okay now careful Percy! Carefuuuuuul!"

"You know, when somebody's trying really hard to be careful in the first place and somebody next to them won't stop telling them to be careful, it's really not very helpful, it actually

makes them want to throw the thing they're trying to be careful with at you!

"Alright, alright I'll be quiet!"

"Dude, why can't you help me carry this thing?"

"Cuz I'm gonna need both hands to carry the cat!"

"But why can't you help me befo-

"Do not question the delicate balance that is our friendship!"

"Ugh! Whatever, never mind!" Percy yelled at Grover just then, a hobo ran by and and stole the cake!

"My name is Dan! My name is Dan!" The Hobo yelled in Percy's face then ran off and threw the cake in the middle of the street in a puddle and ran off screaming my name is Dan.

"The Cake!" Grover yelled.

"What is up with people named Dan!?" Percy screamed.

"What do we do now?!" Grover yelled.

"Let's just get the cat first then figure out the rest."

"Okay then."

Grover and Percy then went over to Pet Smart.

"Hey I'm here to pick up my cat." Percy said as walked up to the counter, there was a new a guy at the counter, he looked around 50.

"Are you talking about that scrawny little gray thing they brought in yesterday?" the guy said.

"Yeah, that's it."

"That was the oldest cat I have ever seen in my life, yeah it died a couple hours ago." the guy said.

"What?!" Percy yelled, "Dude! I thought you could talk to animals how could you not know he was about to go to the big tuna fish can in the sky!"

"Well it was kinda hard to concentrate on anything when there were like twenty bunny rabbits yelling at me and giving me death glares!" Grover shot back.

"Great! Now we don't have a cake or a present and it's almost 6:30 already, Annabeth's coming back home at 7:00!" Percy yelled, "What are we gong to do now?!"

"We'll just have to put something together with... $7.63." Grover said.

**Back At Annabeth's House**

"This is still presentable right?" Percy asked Grover while holding up the sugar cookie and pack of sharpies they were able to salvage before coming back. "I mean sharpies are a decent present right?"

"Let me just say I'm not gonna put my name on the gift this year." Grover replied.

Percy is now banging his head against the wall.

"Hey guys I'm back!" Annabeth called from the door as she came into the house.

"Happy Birthday Annabeth!" Percy and Grover yelled.

"Brooo! Sorry we didn't have enough money left to buy a party horn." Grover apologized.

Annabeth just kinda stared at them with a shocked look on her face.

"Are you that dissapointed Annabeth?" Percy asked.

Annabeth then burst out laughing.

"Are you so dissapointed you're happy?!" Grover asked.

"No! You guys! My birthday's next month!" Annabeth said through her laughter.

"I knew it!" Percy cried!

"Oops." Grover said while looking down at his feet.

Annabeth then sighed and put one arm around Percy and Grover and said, "You guys are the best, but you're idiots."

"We may be idiots," Percy admits, "But we're idiots with great hair!" Percy then flicks his hair into the air but gets some stuck in his mouth.


	2. The Phone Book of the Olympian Gods

**The Phone Book of the Olympian Gods**

"Lets get a surfboard for the dog." Percy said.

Annabeth looked at him weird then said,"We don't have a dog though."

"Well then when we get a dog we can take it surfing!"

"Okay then. Who sells dog surfboards?" Annabeth asked Percy.

"Let's check the phonebook!" Percy then ran off to find a phone book.

When he returns he is dragging a phonebook a mile high.

"What is this?!" Annabeth questioned.

"It's the mile high phone book of the emotionally unstable olympian gods." Percy answered while

he gestured to the phonebook like the people on those game shows do.

Just then an innocent bird that happened to be flying by, hit the obnoxiously large phonebook.

"And that's the bird that knocked out by it." Annabeth said as she mimicked Percy's hand

gesture.

"Okay, now do you want to look under S for surfboards, D for dog, Recreation, or

Stupid Stuff you'll never use?"

"Well that's obviously not a hint telling us to not buy a dog surfboard!"

"Right! So let's start there!" Percy said eagerly.

-----------------------------------After 8 Hours of Looking------------------------------------

Annabeth and Percy have torn the Phone Book of the Olympian Gods apart so now all that's left

of it is a big mountain of yellow paper.

"Aahh! I can't see! It's all just numbers! 555, 1-800!" Annabeth screamed.

"Ow! I got a papercut!" Percy Exclaimed

"You've already gotten 37 papercuts! It's no longer an interesting subject!"

Grover then enters and sees Annabeth and Percy which results in him having a very

confused look on his face.

"What are you guys doing?" Grover asks the very deranged looking Annabeth and Percy.

"Oh nothing! We were just trying to find a business that sells surfboards for Dogs

in the idiotically large phone book of the olympian gods written by a moron who doesn't know

how to catergorize things!!!" Annabeth screams at Grover.

"You know you guys could have just used Google." Grover says.

Annabeth is now growling and looks like she wants to strangle someone.

Then Percy Yells, "Whatever! I am now, officially a cat person!"

**A/N: Hi guys! If you're reading this I thank you very much for checking out my story and would like to ask you to review because I want to know what you guys think! Constructive criticism is **

**very welcome! Better stories are coming! - Magical Flying Pie! :)**


	3. We Totally RULE McDonalds! Kinda

**We Totally Rule McDonalds! Kinda....**

**A/N: READ THIS! Okay, I originally posted this as a seperate story because I thought it was too long but, it was originally meant for The Dysfunctional Adventures of the PJO Gang. There wasn't a very large audience for this story as a seperate and some people have been asking me to update so I'm posting this up so more people know about it, I'm kinda out of inspiration for this story for right know cuz the little movie in my head is of The PJO Gang Harras Telemarketers so ideas would be appreciated! Thank you for reading this!**

* * *

Nobody's Point of View

Annabeth sighed then said, "I'm so bored."

"We should have plans or something for our vacation days seeing as we rarely have them, we aren't very good at being ready." Percy observed as he stared at the ceiling and tried to see if he could find any giraffes in the molding.

"No, we just like to procrastinate." Grover said.

"Let's just go somewhere Random." Annabeth announced before she hopped up from her bean bag.

"How about we go to McDonalds and wreck havoc on the playplace?!" Grover suggested.

"Okay!"

At McDonalds

"Wow! It's like heaven but with fries!" Percy exclaimed as he jumped up and down and clapped his hands.

"Okay, Annabeth you go steal the shoes of the innocent children, Percy, you go and get some soda and fries for ammo and I'll go and stake our claim of the Kingdom of Awesomeness in Ronald McDonald's head!" Grover instructed as everone got into the group huddle.

"Break!"

Percy's Point of View

I walked over to the line for food but then this girl with brown hair sticking up all over the place and glasses the size of snow tires walked in front of me.

"Hi there!" she screamed, then I learned the hard way that she had a lisp cuz she spit in my eye!

"Hi."

"Wanna go out with me?!" ,uh , I don't even know your name!

"You know I would except, um, I already have a girlfriend!"

"You do?!"

Yeah! Look there she is over there!" I said as I pointed over to Annabeth who was apparantly having a shoe tug-of-war with a 6 year old.

"Give me back my shoe!"

"Never!"

"I turned back towards the girl who had a 'Are you kidding me?!' look on her face.

"She's really aggressive!"

"I don't believe she's your girlfriend. I bet you just picked the tallest girl in that room!"

"Well I'll bring her over and prove it!" I said , then I walked over to Annabeth.

"Annabeth!"

"WHAT?!" she screamed as she turned around to face me causing her to lose her concentration and drop the tennis shoe.

"Great. We just lost a Blue's Clues tennis shoe because of you so this better be good!"

"I need you to pretend to be my girlfriend."

"Why?"

"Cuz there's this really weird girl who keeps spitting in my face and wants to go out with me." I explained.

"But I need to build up my tennis shoe empire!" she whined.

"Annabeth please!"

"Fine!" she groaned as we walked back over to the girl with the lisp.

"This is my girlfriend Annabeth."

"Hi." she said half heartedly as she glanced over to the shelf where all the kids put their shoes.

"My name is Beatruse."

Annabeth's Point of View

"So.... Apparantly I'm his girlfriend." I said, then she starts bawling her eyes out! This is getting really awkward really fast! And now Grover's coming over!

"I can't believe you guys ditched me!"

"Grover wait-!" Percy started before Grover dragged him away.

"Soo, what school do you go to?" I asked her trying to start a conversation as I clapped my hands together.

"I can't believe he has a girlfriend!" She screamed.

"Uh-"

"I mean I had everything planned out! We were going to get married in Wisconsin and then honey moon in Finland where we would eat ribs from dawn till dusk!"

"Okay?"

"I-I mean I even got matching rib bibs!"

"Where did you find find the time to do this?!" I asked fairly shocked that she would have such an elaborate plan after 5 minutes.

"Oh I've been following him around for a month."

"Oh!" I'm sitting with a stalker!

"Aaah! NOW I'LL NEVER GET TO GO OUT WITH HIM!!" she exclaimed before she started crying again!

"No, don't cry again! Please?" I asked Beatruse as Percy came back over.

"Hi Beatruse." Percy greeted, the she starts crying even HARDER! How many tears does a person have?!

"Beatruse seriously! You know, going out with Percy isn't really all that great, I mean , he can't dance, he's always popping his gum, plus there's this weird blinking thing he does when there's a thunderstorm so it looks like his eyes are having a mini seizure!"

"Ha ha! Don't push it." Percy mumbled .

"Okay then, have fun wearing your matching rib bibs when you honeymoon in Finland!"

"Push it off the side of a cliff if you have to."

"Yeah." I said, then 5 darts hit Percy in the forehead! Who let a 6 year old bring darts into a McDonalds?!

"Ouch." I said looking up at Percy who had gotten up from his chair.

"I'm gonna see if they have a first aid kit." Percy said shakily as he slowly stumbled towards the food counter.

"So why are you going out with him if he annoys you so much?" Beatruse asked me through her sobs.

"Well because- um,Well you know- Well I mean- You know things aren't looking very good for him."

"So he's available?!" Beatruse asked her face suddenly lighting up.

"Whoa! He's not looking that bad! He's still pretty good guy."

"But I'll never know!" Beatruse screamed before CRYING AGAIN! Ugghh!

"Hey guys." I heard Percy say behind me.

"Hey Pe-" I started before I saw that he had a giant blue band-aid on his forehead and HE DIDN'T HAVE EYEBROWS ANYMORE! I was about to fall over laughing but then Percy held up his finger and said "Not. One. Word."

So then I tried poking his head, but he knocked my hand away.

"You know, I guess I didn't really like you. Now without your eyebrows and hair the magic's gone. See ya." Beatruse said before she grabbed her jacket and left. Percy just kinda had shocked look on his face.

"What?! I didn't even like her in the first place and now I feel sad and rejected! Life's not fair!

"HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!"

Percy just glared at me while I pointed at his head and nearly suffocated from laughter.

"Oh, you wanna tell me what happened to your eyebrows,and, 75 percent of your hair?" I asked as I pointed to the various bald patches he had newly aquired.

"Alright, who let's that guy work with hot surfaces?!"

"Ok, start at the beginning."

"Alright so I went up to the counter and this like 80 year old guy started freaking out and telling me to not bleed on the food so he yanked me to this little counter in thekitchen, because obviously that's where the least amount of my blood will get on the food, then he got this package of gigantic band- aids, and let me tell you something he is blind as a bat! I mean, his glasses could be windshields for RVs! Then he opened the first band-aid and he stuck it on my eye! I looked like a freakin pirate! And then, I don't know how he did it but he made the stinkin box explode on my head! Then he yanked them all off so now I look like a hairless cat!"he exclaimed while throwing his hands up in the air.

"Wow."

"Is that all you can say?!!" He asked me with a shocked expression on his face.

"Yeah pretty much." I said as I crossed my arms, then Grover came running over.

"Okay you guys seriously! I need help! And what happened to your head?!"

"I'll tell you later!" Percy shouted, then we all ran into the play area and were immediately ambushed by a huge army of 6 year olds!

"Retreat!" Percy screamed as we all ran into the bathroom. As soon as we got in we had barricade ourselves against the door but the door still bounced up and down, the 6 year olds were too strong!

"Now what?!" I asked.

"I don't know!" Grover answered, great answer!

"Okay, Grover you go out and find some back up, or a super secret weapon or something!" Percy directed as he pointed towards the door.

"How I am supposed to get past the 6 year olds?!" Grover asked, then Percy opened the door and held out a bottle of Clorox.

"Who wants their Clorox in their eyes?! Grover run!"

"Okay!"

After 5 Minutes

"Get off you pirahanas!"

"Grover's back!" I excalimed, then Percy and I opened the door as fast as we could and closed it before any of the wild 6 year olds got in.

"What's that's thing." Percy asked Grover while pointing at the little box in his hands.

"A box."

"And how's it going to help us?"

"I don't know but it make a really cool popping noise!" Grover exclaimed apparantly very proud of his great achievment. Then Percy threw it down the toilet and flushed it.

"Hey! You might have just flushed the greatest discover-"

"Grover,would you get over here and help us already?!" I screamed at him.

"Ok, we need to go on the offense! Annabeth and I will get as much toilet paper ammo as possible while Grover, you play some song on your reed pipe to make them go nappy bye!" Percy instructed us. Then Percy and I went over to grab some toilet paper when Grover screamed, "Oh no!"

"Are they getting in?!" Percy asked with a worried expression on his face.

"No! I got a splinter on my tongue from my reed pipes!"

"Get back over there!" Percy shouted as he pushed Grover back towards the door.

After they're all ready

"Okay, on the count of three, 1,2,3!" Percy yelled as we all charged out the door, but then, we hit a huge buff dude!

"OW!" I screamed.

"Were you terrorizing the children?!" the really buff dude questioned us.

"They were terrorizing us! THEY TRAPPED US IN A BATHROOM!" I screamed back at him, I can't believe he was trying to make the psychotic toddlers seem like the victims!

"We have security tapes of you stealing shoes from various children."

"I- that is terrorizing their shoes not them!" I retorted.

"Ma'm we have parents who want to sue."

"They were terrorizing us to the same extent if not more! If anyone should be sueing it should be us!"

After they get kicked out

"We really need to stop getting kicked out of places." Percy said with a glum on his face.

"Yeah I think there's like three places left in town we can still go to." I said as I rubbed the rop of my head cuz I landed on my head when the guy threw me ouT the door!

"Let's go do some laundry at 25 Cent Star Laundromat!" Grover yelled with fake cheery excitement.

"Yay."

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**Reviews are MAGICAL! I seriously check like 3 times a day and 1 little review makes my heart SOAR! :D**


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